The Feta Incident

...We had an amusing example of "The customer is always wrong." At Bacco's, Drew endeavored to order a salad minus the feta cheese dressing. The waitress dutifully wrote "No feta." Drew explained, "Be your feta feted or fetid, it makes me no never mind - I am the president of the society for the suppression of feta."

"As you say"

"I do not partake of the Greek fromage. Understand?"

"Perfectly."

"L'havein?"

"Ken"

"Ferstayn?"

"Ya"

"Comprennez-vous?"

"Mais oui"

"Then hie thee to the kitchen."

She turned to leave but before she was out of our sight he called out, "I like feta, true or false?"

"False."

I would have thought he was belaboring the point except she came back in a trice bearing a dish clearly infested with the Pelopenesian curd. Drew's eyes threatened to separate from their sockets.

"What is this?," he asked, jabbing his finger at a singularly large white chunk.

"I'd have to check with our cook, Mr. Tchitizipoulous, but informally, I would guess that is what the sons of Athens call 'feta'."

"But I asked for NO feta," Drew said plaintively.

"Not to cavil sir, but you asked for no feta dressing. The feta you see is on the surface, but is not dressing. Rather, it is an integral part of the dish."

"Could the dish be made without feta?"

"Perish the thought."

"Then bring me tuna."

After some muttered imprecations concerning the fickleness of tourists, she whisked the plate away...

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